Ben Venom: The Collectionaire_Ben Venom's Poison Is Electrify...

Ben Venom: The Collectionaire_Ben Venom's Poison Is Electrify...



This is my inspiration for a project that I have been TRYING get going. I need past and present local band t-shirts Please!

Self Appreciation :: Giving yourself Credit every once in a while is ok!

I am a true inspiration to many! I am a leader for the followers. By example I lead. I am glad that I can bring pleasure in others lives. I am a true asset to this thing we call life! Thank you for letting me be such a huge part of your lives! I feel so very honored that I am that important to you all. I am a ROCKSTAR and Celebrity!! For that I am grateful ♥

Who are "They, Them and Everybody?"

Twice in one day by two different disgruntle individuals ::: I was told "I should have listened to everyone else about you".

An obvious line used when really someone  upset with you really has NOTHING to throw at you or on you.... My response?

  "Bringing in 'Everybody Else' (whom ever 'they' may be) makes you of a lesser person and only validates that you are unable to stand on your own!

When asked who these other people are, they never answer and if they did 9 times out of 10 it is someone that doesn't get along with you anyways or lives off  hear say!

 I NEVER base my decisions on others opinions, I like to see for myself how the person would get along with ME. For no two people are alike and one that doesn't mesh with you might work in my world just swimmingly.

So for arguments sake, hold your own and leave 'Everybody Else' out of it!

Awaken

In light of the events from the past few months, I felt it was time to stir things up again.

Recently a very beautiful woman that a lot of us know, whether personally, from shows or facebook, past away. For reasons hard to understand for most yet I do ::

Talking with a friend this past Sunday I mentioned to her, How can you be in a room full of people yet be so alone? I know that there are quite a few people that know who "EDEN" is but do you?

After moving to Park City, I'll admit I did fall "out of the scene" looking for something more for my life. It was difficult to get people up to visit. I started coming back down to Salt Lake area more and more. I know people are busy but yet so was I! I made time! This feeling of rejection was painful. I felt I put to much of me and my time into everyone and wasn't getting back out of it, yet I didn't want to expect anything either. It wouldn't be right.

After losing my job, place to live and sanity the rejection and loneliness was outstanding! WOW look at all the support I really do not have. The usual response was "It will get better". If you are going to say this horrid line at least say it correctly!! "It will get better but I am not willing to put forth the compassion or time to help you step up so it does get better"!!

I spent 4 months homeless. Bounced through 6 homes. My daughter staying with someone besides me so she could stay in her school. (Where i was not welcomed BTW because in their own words "It would be enabling me"). Unable to get stable enough and the overwhelming amount of rejection, loneliness and sadness I decided that after drinking heavily I would go and drive off the mountain--got caught instead and received a WONDERFUL DUI... and still unemployed.

"You are strong" --maybe but when can I just catch a break and get off the ground from being kicked? I suffer depression and anxiety and have as long as I can remember. I know I am not the easiest person to get a long with but it doesn't stop anyone when they NEED something from ME.

So for you having a hard time understanding :: I give MY story. Maybe you can think about it and start paying attention to the ones that really matter and the ones that don't leave them alone. Quit hurting others out of jealousy, your own self worth, and quit listening to others garbage and go straight to the person in question instead of rumors! When someone is having a rough time in life do something to make it better for them not make it worse!

There comes a time in your life when you finally get it... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out- ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world from a new perspective. This is your awakening. ~Unknown

1.  

Sad Angel

Angel,
Put sad wings around me now
Protect me from this world of sin
So that we can rise again

Oh angel,
We can find our way somehow
Escaping from the world we're in 
To a place where we began
And I know we'll find
A better place and peace of mind
Just tell me that it's all you want
For you and me

Angel won't you set me free
Angel,
Remember how we chased the sun
Then reaching for the stars at night
As our lives had just begun
When I close my eyes
I hear your velvet wings and cry
I'm waiting here with open arms
Oh can't you see
Angel shine your light on me

Angel we'll meet once more I'll pray
When all my sins are washed away
Hold me inside your wings and stay
Angel take me far away

Put sad wings around me now
Angel take me far away
Put sad wings around me now
So that we can rise again
Put sad wings around me now
Angel take me far away
Put sad wings around me now
So that we can rise again

Art by:: Jimmie Miller

Cell Phone Pet Peeves!

This has got to be one of my BIGGEST pet peeves! As nice as someone may be that does not excuse them from ignorance. When you walk into an establishment that involves positive customer service on their part, RETURN THE FUCKING FAVOR! Get off your phone BEFORE walking in and put it on silent. Don't walk in chatting away having someone sit there waiting on you to get done. Better yet why in the HELL would you answer it in mid-conversation. Let it go to voice mail!

Excusing yourself doesn't work either. There is NO excuse. Having your ring tone volume on the highest it will go isn't necessary either. Are ya freakin deaf? Need to make sure you hear it so you can run after it? You miss it so what! Call them back! If it's real important THEY will call back! I now have to try and find some tactic to excuse people away from my office politely until they are done bullshitting on their cell phone.

Now this one is most aggravating. If I do not answer your call or text right away. I AM BUSY! It doesn't matter what I am busy with, that is NOT your business. If I do not want to text or talk I should not  feel obligated to, so that you don't think I am some kind of a-hole. Your insecurities should not be my problem. 9 times out of 10 if you are feeling that you offended me or are bugging me you probably are. LEAVE IT! I will get back to you as soon as I can. I do have a life you know. I am sorry that you are not priority in it. My only priorities right now are my children and my job. By the way have I mentioned that I HATE TO FUCKING TEXTING!!

Driving here is a big one! I wish that UTAH would pass the law like California with a stiff fine if you are pulled over for driving and texting/calling. You drive worse then a 90 year old lady that can't see over the steering wheel!! Do you realize the heavy equpiment, the massive weapon you are rolling around in? This one should be treated just as serious as drinking and driving. There are options to be hands free talking! Let them call you back, let your voicemail pick it up, blue tooth ear piece, run through the speakers in your vehicle. There are more important things happening on the road then to worry about what someone needs to tell you. If it is that important pull off the road for gods sakes.

My top 5 songs

Here are my top 5 favorite songs in life right now. These are not in any particular order either.

This song by Zep is one of the most sexiest songs... This one gets right in my soul! I feel so sexy dancing to this and even sexier in bed! "I've been trying, Lord, let me tell you, Let me tell you I really did the best I could." "I said you had the nerve to tell me you didn't want me no more, yeah"

This song by Aerosmith is a theme song for me in my life." It's amazing, With the blink of an eye, You finally see the light, Oh it's amazing, When the moment arrives, That you know you'll be alright, Oh it's amazing And I'm saying a prayer, For the desperate hearts tonight."

Black Crows she talks to Angels: "..... and the cross is someone she has not met, not yet."......." She paints her eyes as black as night now, Pulls those shades down tight Yes, she gives a smile when the pain comes, The pain gonna make everything alright."

Jane says, Janes Addiction. Another sexy diddy and I love the lyrics. . "Jane says I ain't ever been in love, I don't know what it is she only knows if someone wants her."

Velvet Revolvers Fall to pieces is a very emotional piece to me. "I keep a journal of memories, I'm feeling lonely, I can't breathe, I fall to pieces"




This one by Saliva comes soooooo close! Hard to not just add it on as an extra here. Depending on the day or week or month it could replace one in the 5.

"Would you find it in you heart,  To make this go away,  And let me rest in pieces"

Genie

The Lady of white is no fairy tale
She is just the beginning of hell
She will break your heart and make you cheat
Make you think your life is complete
The diamond she holds in her eyes
Eventually become the ones you despise
No matter how hard you try to forget
She is only satisfied with a life of regret
She can appear in so many ways
And leave your mind blank for so many days
Beware of this lady and her trick
For her pleasures are rather sick
She's a genie a bottle of smoke
No laughing matter no joke
She'll make you run make you hide
She will take everything including your pride
She'll make it a challenge, give you a test
And she will smile when you are obsessed
So if you know this GENIE of today
It's your soul for you I pray
By: Joseph E Simonetti

I used the cartoon because the real thing is just way to disturbing for me. Especially when you see someone you love partaking of "Genie". I have lost a couple from this ugly drug and addiction. A very painful way to lose someone when it is self inflicted and they could have saved themselves but lose all desire to do so. Very selfish if you ask me. Being around a loved one that has this is a complicated drama continually walking on egg shells.  The highs and lows, mood swings, paranoia, and lack of interest in life. You want to do all you can to help them but realistically you just end up enabling them. THEY have to want the change for anything to progress towards the healing. 


Good heart ed loving souls consumed in a dark spiral. I hope the ones I have lost out of my life will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel and all the ones that adore them there ready to support and love them. They have so much to offer everyone and we have so much to give them.

"Friends"

Where is that fine line? I have damn near douched my relationships down to just having the important true ones in my life. With Facebook now, you collect people you know on your "Friends" list. I find the site great for networking. That is how I used my MySpace years ago for music and bands.

What is "Friendship"?

Defined: For me anyways is someone that is there for you, has your back and values you as who you are and are unconditional.

Why do we use the term so loosely? I hardly ever hear "He's an acquaintance of mine" or "That is my co-worker" maybe "Someone that I interacted with in the past" Is it that it sounds better to have so many "Friends" for a feeling of acceptance?

I am really reevaluating this anymore. I have over extended myself in trying to relate with people in my life that I find incredible but at most I am the one doing all the work. Does not anyone have the time anymore to give of yourself and help another? Especially a so called "friend"? Are our lives to cluttered with unnecessary activities that we forget what is truly needed in this world? Service of ourselves? But where is that line drawn as well? When is giving to much that you compromise yourself and take to much from ones self? What is enough that you aren't selfish?

Ugly Behavior

Definition of UGLY

1

: frightful, dire

2

a : offensive to the sight : hideousb : offensive or unpleasant to any sense

3

: morally offensive or objectionable <corruption—the ugliest stain of all>

4

a : likely to cause inconvenience or discomfort <the ugly truth>

To whom it may concern:

When one has a disagreement with another, it is between the two of you. Now.... WHY, would you want to take an entire establishment and innocent bystanders that have NOTHING to do with the disagreement?

Wouldn't you be a bigger person to WALK AWAY? If you don't like it, why waste so much energy involving yourself in it trying to destroy it?  Why the animosity? Could it be because deep down you still want to be on that persons good side or a part of that persons creation?

Why destroy others welfare, lively hood, and entertainment? Oh yeah, because you are a douche! Well I am here to say..... Some people just might not want their lives cleansed by the likes of you!!

It's those innocent ones that are pissed! Sometimes when the wrong ones are pissed enough it might be best to find a new circle to go start over in!

Word of the wise..... NEVER, EVER talk shit on anyone unless you can back it up or it's a very well known fact. You never know who might be involved in that person that you are talking to and it can take you down! BIGGEST known fact in Hollywood!

My futures So Bright I've Got To Wear Shades!!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! UGGGGG! HOW?!?

Took them off my head.... went to put them back one and...... the end of the arm is broken off!! What the crap? What is it with me and my cheap sunglasses? It's hopeless to keep a pair. I'm afraid to get expensive ones. I LOVE my cheap, big, bling, sunglasses! I fall in love with a pair then..... crap! and I tell you it's not that I drop them, I don't sit on them, i don't trow them, I'm pretty kind and gentle to my eye wear.... they.... just.... casually... fall apart!

I did however step on "Satan's" glasses... THAT was an accident.... crushed one side.. Wish I had tem around to get a pic of but I do not know what he did with them... He WAS trying to wear them to see out of the one leans left. Took my cousin Nicole out to main.... She hates the snow. She slipped and fell getting into the cab and we had no clue she lost them off her head until I went back to look for them and found only the front top of the frames.

My only not 'black" pair. Yep arm broken off... *sigh you can see they are cracked around the lenses as well had to glue that. As soon as I did and was like Oh Yeah we are good the same day that arm fell right off!

My Diors... Yes I said cheap sunglasses but these were a gift from a friend in Vegas (I didn't pay for them). Damn it!! Yes see the are is broke right off!!

My favorite Hollywood Blvd glasses from when I was living and working out in Holy-weird! These bum me out the most... they are my most favs!

Ok.... why do I still have all these broken glasses?? Well... deep down I am hoping they will fix themselves or can be fixed so I can have my favorite cheap eye wear back on my face where they belong!!

"Pretty Girl"

pretty girl is suffering while he confesses everything.
pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about.
and that's what you get for falling again;
you can never get him out of your head.
and that's what you get for falling again;
you can never get him out of your head.

it's the way that he makes you feel.
it's the way that he kisses you.
it's the way that he makes you fall in love.

she's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and
the killer instinct tells her to be aware of evil men.
and that's what you get for falling again;
you can never get him out of your head.
and that's what you get for falling again;
you can never get him out of your head.

it's the way that he makes you feel.
it's the way that he kisses you.
it's the way that he makes you fall in love. [2x]

pretty girl... pretty girl...

pretty girl is suffering while he confesses everything.
pretty soon she'll figure out: you can never get him out of your head.

it's the way that he makes you cry.
it's the way that he's in your mind.
it's the way that he makes you fall in love.
it's the way that he makes you feel.
it's the way that he kisses you.
it's the way that he makes you fall in love...

My Beautiful Mess Shit Show life theme song....

I give up....

I am giving up on all this dating crap! Men my age are insecure and desperate. I love how they try twisting it around on me to. I don't answer the phone right when they call, or text right back Im an a-hole.

First off I just met you mmmm kay. 2ndly I DO have a life. Single mom, full time job and established friendships and social life. You are NOT going to be priority when I have just met you. THAT comes with time. Further more I HATE TEXTING! I will NOT have a conversation in text. If I am worth it enough, call my sexy ass! Get some balls now and quit hiding behind your computers and cell phones!

Get this I am an a-hole for being honest to, If there is no connection.. there just is never going to be one. I will remain  friends and maybe introduce you to some of my friends. I guess that was an ego killer. TOUGH TITTY!

Where to meet decent men that are not extreamly damaged by other women (mommies included), drugs, or alcohol? That have at least a running vehicle and an ok job? Don't say church either... that didn't go over to well ... see above paragraphs on that except now you have to see him every sunday. Dating specialist did say Ski resorts.... well.... can't get the kid to go sking! (Won't go alone-- what a waste in a season lift pass)

I'm pretty forgiving and know that anyone is coming with "some" baggage. Hell it will take someone as forgiving as I am to put up with my crazy life! Just the one's that will are ones trying to latch on to someone real quick and I am not attracted to for what ever reason. Those types of relationships don't work out. You end up finally getting to know the person and it turns south real quick and gets messy!

So.....  I would like a roommate, friend, lover, NO expectations, attractive, tattooed, in to rock, preferably a musician, have a vehicle, and a half way decent job to at least pay half the bills, loves only me, says all the right things, helps out with chores and on occasion treats me like a princess, takes me around his friends, likes my cooking, thinks I am sexy and I am attracted to....

Ok I am in a dream world here now I know for sure.... All I know I went out of my "NORM" so to speak with different guy types and have decided to stick to my own kind... whatever that is....

There are those among us who are blessed with the power to save what is loved by another.

But powerless to use this blessing for love themselves.

The Family Table: the rescuing hug

The Family Table: the rescuing hug:
 I got this from a fellow blogger that I follow and felt that I needed to share it with my readers as well. <3

 My 6 year old daughter Eve came home with a backpack full of notes from her school on Thursday.  This story with photo was among the papers.  It was sent home to remind parents of the power of a hug.  Easy enough to remember to hug our small children, but honestly in a busy week I sometimes forget that my teenage son needs a hug everyday too.  Did anyone hug him today?  Now I make a point to hug all my children before they leave and when they arrive home and sometimes just because.  This story was published in Reader's Digest, May 1996.  I was so touched by this I had to share...
In their first week of life, twins Kyrie and Brielle were separated in their respective incubators and one was not expected to live.  A hospital nurse fought against the hospital rules and placed the babies in one incubator.  When they were placed together, the healthier of the two threw an arm over her sister in an endearing embrace.  The smaller baby's heart rate stabilized and her temperature rose to normal.
They both survived and are thriving.  In fact, the two girls went home to share a crib and still snuggle.  The hospital changed their policy after they saw the effect of putting the two girls together and now they bed multiples together.
Let us not forget to embrace those whom we love and never underestimate the power of a hug!

Nikki Sixx Shares Details of 'This is Gonna Hurt' Soundtrack, Book | Billboard.com

Nikki Sixx Shares Details of 'This is Gonna Hurt' Soundtrack, Book | Billboard.com

The Beautiful People

A buddy of mine told me after I had moved here to Park City Utah that I now lived in the land of "The Beautiful People".  I wasn't sure how to take that. I hear the Reputation and misconception Park City has from the Utahan's outside of here. "You live in Park City? You must be rich!" (Yeah far from it!) "You live in Park City? You must be a snob!" (still far from it)

There are Snobby, pretentious, a-holes all over. From my travels I have found them everywhere I go. You get into a higher income level living area where they actually take care of the place and don't trash it and you are a snob... nice.

I have met PLENTY of down to earth individuals here that do not expect you to be on their income level to hang out with them. Same for living in Hollywood and people living in Beverly Hills! If anyone is like that I disregard them, let it be and move on.

Which brings me to the latest movie I have watched: Dinner For Schmucks

What a great message this movie has! Be yourself! Do not let others live rent free in your mind!! You need not change for anyone but YOURSELF! If they cannot accept you for who you are you do not need them in your life! Most cases they are mirroring you and have the issue of not accepting themselves for who they are and are the ones insecure!

"I love you just as you are." I make the upmost effort just to accept people for who they are. I have the hardest by being critical to the ones that are closest and I am working on being more understanding and accepting of them. My insecurities sometimes find me judging others and it is something I do not like of myself. That to I am working on.

Be patient and take the time to listen and communicate. You might understand where someones day is going, make a new friend, or can be a link in making someones day just a little easier. In return it will come back to you!

Pay it forward. Live. Laugh. Love.

~Don t try to be someone your not, wait for the person who likes you for who you are. You were born an original, don't die a copy.~

SALIVA New Single!!!

Saliva's new single, released Feb 1st. LOVE LOVE LOVE this band and excited for the new album! I am pretty sure they will come to Utah and I will be there! Album will be available March 22, 2011.

Beautiful Dangerous

I am FEELING it!!!


I don't know who you are now
Mystery drenches my brain
I wanna jump deep into your mouth
Cuz something tell's me it's gonna rain


I hear the drum rolls thumping
And my heart starts jumping
And that's when I spit on the floor
Now my head's exploding
And your gun is dirty
So I'm guessing I'm on a roll
Well it's a fine time
Looking for a wine time man
And you said "baby you ready to play"
Well come right on this rollercoaster
Cuz it aint over, it aint over


Now we're on this planet
I'm in love with all your dangers, dangers
We can live forever
I can be your favorite angel, angel
Beautiful Dangerous

We acted smooth like rain
Save all flame that we'll light
You can be sick, I'll be nasty
Cuz sometimes it's more fun to fight

Being Single ~Valentines Day

"Being broken hearted is like having this really horrible freedom" ~ Florence Welch

I was just reminded that Monday is Valentines Day... Great. Most overrated holiday EVER!! Am I slightly bitter? Maybe just a little, but really.... Shouldn't it be valentines all the time with someone that you care about and love? Seriously!

I am loving my "Horrible Freedom" No expectaions, no letting someone down, no planning my events around someone else, no having to explain myself and NO JEALOUSY!

This Valentines I will be with the ones that mean the most to me, but I already do that everyday anyways. That and I will be working that day at the office. Just another Monday it will be I am very sure. I don't mind receiving flowers if at "anytime of the year" you would like to have some delivered to me :D